


What Happened To Dr. McCormick's Body

by UAs_Fics



Category: South Park
Genre: AU, Cannibalism, Child Abuse, Gore, M/M, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 09:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18658084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UAs_Fics/pseuds/UAs_Fics
Summary: Leopold Stotch’s therapy session with Dr. Kenny McCormick goes off the rails, resulting in the doctor’s death. Now as a ghost, Kenny watches what his client does with his corpse.Inspired byNiamarmosha'sCannibalism AU





	What Happened To Dr. McCormick's Body

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [ Niamarmosha's](https://niamarmosha.tumblr.com/tagged/cannibal-au/chrono) Cannibalism AU, please check them out! Their art is great!  
> Update: a kind soul translated this to Russain![ Read it here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/8601183?fbclid=IwAR1li2gW0_Da5_n5zHYd6viqAcZ6B1gjicCyjE4f_otrmVO_iwyqU7k9Yoc)

* * *

* * *

Kenny had died many times before. Looking over his corpse as a ghost wasn't a new experience for him. Being an immortal had long since left him with little regard for his personal safety -- a fact that had come to cause his demise more times than he could ever count. 

Even having a handsome person's hands at his breathless throat wasn't new. He had dealt with that at least two other times at two different parties by two different, kinky individuals.

Nothing about this death was really novel for Kenny, except for the expression his murderer wore.

His patient didn't wear a mask of regret or horror. He wasn't even sadistically pleased with himself.

Instead, he wore an expression that reminded Kenny of someone who mistakenly poured orange juice into his cereal bowl.

Leopold Stotch fell back. He sat on Kenny's stomach with his feet planted on either side of his shoulders. He rested his wrists on his kneecaps, looking over his handiwork. He popped his lips twice before he breathed out an “Oopsy Daisy.”

Kenny narrowed his ghostly eyes. 

‘Oopsy Daisy’? Really? That was all Leopold could say? He murdered his therapist, strangled the life out of him. That was not an ‘Oopsy Daisy’ mistake.

Leopold twiddled his fingers together a moment, his mouth in a small pout.

“I know it's wrong to blame the victim of a violent crime, but this is kinda your fault, ya know, ” Butters chided the corpse. “You shouldn't have tried to dig so deep, but no, you just had to make me think of _that_. Well, there ain't nothin’ doing about it now.”

He swung his leg off to crouch next to the body. Humming to himself, he began to pat Kenny's pockets.

_“Hey!”_ Kenny snapped when Leopold took his wallet out — as if he could still be heard. Having his corpse looted after death like a fallen enemy in an RPG game wasn’t new either, but he still found it very annoying. The DMV gets suspicious after the third lost driver's license, after all. 

Leopold flipped the leather wallet open. He took the license out and set it aside, but did not touch any of the money or other cards. Before shutting the wallet, he looked closely at the picture Kenny kept inside. His sister, brother, and himself looked out from the photograph with grins on their faces and ice cream pops in their hands. 

If Kenny still had a physical stomach, it would have twisted. His murderer had no right to know what Karen and Kevin looked like. 

Leopold chuckled. “It's a really big shame you were my therapist, Doctor McCormick. You're so handsome. If we met on a street, we could have dated.” He set the wallet aside before pulling out his phone. As he dialed, he went on, “I really liked you, too. You seemed like a sweet fella. Too good to be wasting your time helping a guy like me. We could have been a power couple.” 

Leopold patted the corpse's forearm. “The actor and the therapist loving through the hard times. It would have been like a Hallmark movie.” 

He waited for a moment, as he always did when he made a joke Kenny was supposed to laugh at. Of course, the corpse didn’t have any air left to laugh, so Leopold pushed his phone to his ear with a shrug.

Leopold’s head bobbed to the waiting music on the phone while Kenny walked towards the shelves behind him. He hadn’t had the opportunity to closely examine the objects there yet. Leopold wanted him to take a seat whenever he arrived so they could start the session. When Kenny tried to bring them into the conversation, Leopold would shrug them off as nothing truly important.

Metals, certificates, and photos of Leopold with other famous actors dotted the shelves, but nothing outside of his career. No family photos or bobbles from summer trips with friends. Nothing truly personal. Nothing truly important.

How unusual...though it seemed much of Leopold Stotch was unusual.

For any other client, Kenny worked with them in his office, but Leopold's notoriety made that quite difficult. More than once Kenny, the secretary, and the other therapists had to shoo off a group of Leopold's devoted fans trying desperately to get a look at the actor. 

After two visits and a fan’s autograph book to the side of Kyle’s face, it was decided best for Leopold’s counseling to be done at home. 

When Kenny had done at home counseling in the past, he brought with him one of his coworkers, either Wendy or Kyle, but on Leopold's prompting, he decided against it.

_” Please doctor? I’d rather just talk to one person about everything,”_ Leopold pleaded at the end of the second session as they discussed the change to home counseling. _” I feel like having two people would be too much for me to handle’”_

Seeing the earnest look in Leopold’s eye, Kenny had agreed.

Looking over his shoulder at his body, Kenny regretted the decision immensely. 

“Hey, Eric? How ya doin’, buddy?” Leopold leaned back. Kenny wandered over as the person on the other end of the line spoke.

Leopold chuckled. “I can't call my good friend just because I want to?” 

Now that he was closer, Kenny could faintly overhear this ‘Eric’ person ask if Leopold “did it again.”

Leopold sighed. “Ok, you caught me. I panicked a little when he asked about...I panicked.”

“Wait a second, _you_ panicked? You did steal this corpse, didn't you? Or did he come back to life when you got him home?”

“I don't steal anything. Those people died on public property. It's finders keepers,” Leopold defended. 

Kenny winced, trying to take this in. His client routinely took human remains? Why?

“It's not, but that's why you have me,” Eric replied coolly. “So what happened with this one, exactly? I'm guessing he's more than a nameless nobody, or you wouldn’t have called me until after you’ve done your thing.”

“Nope, he's very much an important somebody.” He turned his gaze to the corpse. “It was my therapist.”

Eric groaned. “Butters, fuck.” He sounded not angry or worried, but annoyed. “This'll cost you. I have to do extra work to get someone with a job to disappear. Fuck.”

Leopold crawled over to the body to fiddle with the shirt collar. “I know, I know, but he pushed me! It's not my fault.” 

“Whatever. It never is,” Eric replied. “Can I find this guy online or are you going to send me a picture?”

“Oh, you can find his picture on his office's website.” Leopold picked up Kenny’s license. “His full name is Kenny McCormick. His address is 246 Lovecraft Lane, apartment 23,” he read. 

Leopold balanced his phone between his shoulder and ear as he began to unbutton the corpse's shirt. 

Eric scoffed. “It won't be as easy making as a druggie with a beard disappear, but I can make it work. I'll send you the bill later. Do I need to do anything with the body this time? That's extra, remember.”

Leopold pulled the shirt back, exposing the chest. He ran his fingers along the skin then licked his lips. 

“Oh, no. I can handle that easily. There's not much to him, but, gosh, he sure does look _scrumptious_.” Leopold cupped his cheek. “If I preserve everything just right, I can make him last me a while, too.”

Kenny stumbled back from his body and Leopold. Ghost or not, he wanted to vomit. 

A necrophiliac — Leopold Stotch was a necrophiliac. That's why he took corpses. That explained what he was going to do with Kenny's body.

Eric made a gagging noise that perfectly reflected Kenny’s mood. 

“Old friend or not, Butters, you are one sick bastard.”

Leopold hummed. “That’s why I was going to a therapist.”

With that, he hung up the phone and placed it in his back pocket. He rolled back on the balls of his feet, eyes never leaving Kenny's body.

“I need to get to work, or you'll start to stiffen up, ” Leopold told the corpse. “Let's get to it. Ups-ya-go.” 

He slipped his arms around the corpse’s shoulders and under the knees. After bouncing to readjust the body, Leopold rested his cheek on the top of the head as the corpse’s cheek rested on his shoulder. 

“You could have helped so many more people,” Leopold whispered. “I'm sorry for them, but at least you'll still be able to help me, even in death.”

The look in his eyes turned predatory and hungry as he gazed down at the body in his arms. It was as if holding the corpse like a sleeping damsel awoke the ravenous dragon he had been hiding from Kenny during their sessions. 

Kenny jumped to the side as Leopold took his corpse away. For a moment, Kenny wasn't sure if he should follow or not. He'd seen his corpse taken away or burned or tore apart by wild animals, but the thought of Leopold's necrophilic activities with his dead body left a feeling of violation and disgust. 

After another moment’s deliberation, he hurried after Leopold. Even if what he saw left him feeling sick, he needed to know if Leopold kept corpses and where. At least he could report that to the police when he returned to life.

Maybe.

First off, he would need to get Wendy and Kyle's opinions. They both knew his secret, and how devastating it would be to that secret’s longevity if the police stumbled upon his half-decayed corpse with Kenny standing two feet away. 

Kenny shook his head to clear his mind. The future could wait until he returned to life. He needed to focus on the here and now. 

He followed Leopold to a nondescript door in the corner of the hall, half hidden by a tall, completely ordinary shelf. Leopold shifted the body so he can reach up and grope the top of the shelf with his fingertips. He took a silver key down and used it to unlock the door. Placing the key back to its home, Leopold then reached in and flipped on the light.

“Gotta be careful going down the stairs. I don't want to break my neck.” He paused as he had early then said cheerfully, “Don't worry, though. I'm really good at this. You're in great hands, Doctor McCormick.”

The room at the bottom of the stairs was simple and sterile. Metal cabinets lined one wall. A large, locked, metal door stood in the corner. A black, leather straps from had been affixed to the ceiling over a drain in the floor with a thick cord. A water faucet dripped onto the hose coiled around it. Between the door and cabinets were a metal table and chair. A pair of pink, elbow-length gloves, and a thick, brown apron rested across the chair’s back. 

Leopold gently set Kenny's corpse down on the table before he removed the shirt. He folded it and set it aside then went for his slacks. 

Kenny’s lip rose in disgust. As a therapist, it was his job to help Leopold in a professional and unbiased manner. However, he could not keep his emotions in check when it was his body being used like this. 

“I couldn't have gotten a client with a podophilia or coprophilia. No, the only immortal therapist in the whole fucking world, and I wind up with a necrophiliac,” Kenny grumbled, glaring as Leopold removed the pants. 

Kenny marched over. If Leopold could see him, they would have been looking eye to eye.

“What caused you to be like this?” He hissed. “Did your first sexual partner die when you two were together? Did you see a particularly beautiful corpse in your formative years?” He narrowed his eyes. “What made your brain connect ‘death’ and ‘sexual pleasure,’ Mr. Stotch?”

Of course, Leopold couldn’t answer questions he couldn't hear. 

He tilted his head at Kenny's Playboy Bunny boxers. “Huh. I don't know why I expected you to be a briefs man, doc, but those boxers suit you.” He frowned, nearly pouting. “I wish I could have found this out when you were alive.” Leopold set the folded pants next to the shirt.

Turning back, he let his hand hover over the boxers. He chewed his lip, then looked over at the corpse’s face. He dropped his hand to his side.

“I won't touch there while you are still here, ” Leopold promised. 

Kenny furrowed his brow. ‘While he was still here’? What did that mean? And if he didn't remove the boxers, how could he indulge his necrophilic urges? Did Leopold cover his guilt with the logic that if he did something in particular to the body, then he wasn't violating a human? If so, what was he going to do?

Leopold pulled on the pink latex gloves then tied the apron around himself. He reached up and tugged the leather straps. The cord went slack as he set it next to the corpse's feet. He attached the straps to the ankles then fastened them tight enough that, if the body were alive, it would have hurt.

Leopold backpedaled to the cabinet. He pulled a drawer out to retrieve a scalpel. Its blade glinted against the blue-white light from above.

He walked around to the top of the table. Bent over the corpse, he stroked Kenny's cold cheek affectionately. 

“You're going to be so filling, Doctor McCormick. No drugs or alcohol in your system. Just pure, untainted flesh. Much better than those others I've had recently.”

With that, he dragged the blade across the corpse’s throat. 

Kenny backed away. He should just go back upstairs. Once the morning comes, he'll be alive, Leopold won't remember what happened, and Kenny would have a game plan. Did he really need to watch?

Leopold drew the blade along the wrists then hit a switch on the wall. The cord began to pull back to the ceiling. Helping the body along, he hung the body up over the drain to empty. 

Kenny fixed his eyes on the streak of blood left behind along the table. The dribbling sound of thick liquid hitting the floor filled the room. He really should just leave.

Leopold walked in front of the corpse. He grabbed the chair, set the clothing aside, and spun it around before sitting down backward. He rested his chin on his folded arms with a satisfied smile.

“Maybe when we meet in Heaven, you can properly diagnose me after knowing this. I'll even let you yell at me if you want,” Leopold cooed in a sickeningly affectionate tone. “At least then we can be together afterward. Don't have to worry about those pesky Hippocratic Oaths and ethics boards saying you can't be my doctor and my lover.”

“I have a feeling Heaven won't be where we meet again, ” Kenny scoffed.

As Leopold went on jabbering of all the _should have been_ 's that he and Kenny could have been, Kenny pulled his legs up criss-cross. Floating over the top of the bloody table, Kenny took a moment to look over Leopold as he did at the start of the of every session.

He couldn't say Leopold was unattractive— quite the opposite, in fact. He was a stunning example of a human being. It was no wonder he had a legion of adoring fans.

Kenny remembered the first role he saw Leopold in when he was in college. It had been as the sidekick character in an Indiana Jones-style adventure movie. While he denied it being a celebrity crush, Kenny did keep a poster of Leopold’s character tacked up next to the Playboy foldouts on his wall until graduation. 

When Leopold came to find a therapist, Kenny figured enough time had passed that his affections towards Leopold would in no way affect his ability to help. He had grown up and his silly crush faded. 

Or so he thought.

Maybe he'd been too eager to lead Leopold down the path to a healthy mindset. Maybe he wanted to be someone Leopold would appreciate. Was that why he pried as deep as he did this session? Did he really dig his own grave?

No, this was not his fault. Leopold had made some real progress from when he first came in. What happened was not out of line on his part. Kenny was doing his job, so he could not be at fault here.

In fact, Kenny was proud of how much they had done from the start if his sessions. In the beginning, Leopold barely spoke of his childhood, but Kenny had finally broken down some of the walls Leopold build.

It took four weeks for Leopold to timidly admit that, maybe, sometimes his father would hit him.

_”Oh, but it was so long ago, it doesn't matter, ”_ He’d laughed at the time. _”I'm sure I deserved it for being ornery.”_

_”It doesn't matter if it happened two days ago or twenty years ago, no one should hit you, least of all for being ‘ornery, ’”_ Kenny had replied gently. _“Honestly, from what I've seen of you, I have a hard time imagining you being ornery anyway.”_

From that time on, Kenny had better luck breaking into Leopold's mind. 

His dad beat him, his mom belittled him, they both acted like he was a mistake and a problem child. Kenny had handled many cases like this before, so he felt confident that he could help Leopold work through his problems and gain some proper coping mechanisms.

Earlier that day, Leopold had started on a story about his childhood. He and some friends snuck out to take a peek at a girls’ sleepover. He had been a little reluctant to tell it, but Kenny was able to coax it out of him.

“I know it wasn’t nice of us, but we were kids.” Leopold tittered. “We just really wanted to see what girl’s parties were like! How different they were from guys. If the rumors that they can tell the future or did magical princess makeovers were real.”

Kenny nodded. “Of course. My friends and I did the same when we were young. Please, go on.”

Leopold laced his hands together then unlaced them as he spoke. It was as if he needed to hold his own hand before continuing. Whenever Leopold was nervous, he tended to put his hands together, either pressing the knuckles of one hand into the palm of the other or lacing his fingers. Kenny quietly wrote that observation down while Leopold was talking.

“My friends wanted to dress me up as a girl and send me in. They had a dress and wig ready and everything,” He continued. “I talked them out of it, so instead we crawled on each others' shoulders to look inside through the window.” Leopold whistled a short tune, his cheeks red. “The girls saw us, though, so we all ran like chickens with our heads cut off. I didn’t make it far since I fell face first into the dirt.”

“Did you see anything? Any magical princesses or glimpses of the future?” Kenny asked. 

Leopold shook his head. “No, I was the one on the bottom, hoisting my friends up. My friend, Eric, though, said he saw,” Leopold lowered his voice and leaned closer, “side boob.” A joking smile spread on his face as he waited for Kenny to respond. 

“A real live side boob? How scandalous.” Kenny snorted a laugh, and the smile grew wider.

Leopold set his hands one on top of the other on the table. “I think he was lying to make himself look cool since no one else saw anything when they were looking. Now, Eric is a really interesting fella like that, you know. He--”

“What happened after you left? Did you get in trouble for being a peeping tom?” Kenny spun his pen between his fingers. He was not going to let Leopold change the subject,

The smile fell from his face. His fingernails dug into the flesh of his hand. Leopold didn’t seem to notice the crescent shapes appearing on his skin.

“Y-yeah, we did.” Leopold took a shaking breath. “The girls recognize some of us, and those boys ratted the rest out. My parents were — weren’t happy with me about it. Dad, he, um, he...then Mom suggested...and...a...and...”

Kenny reached across the table to pry Leopold’s hand away before he drew blood. Leopold didn’t acknowledge the action. He bit down hard on the side of his lip and his eyes were unfocused.

“Mr. Stotch?” Kenny prompted. “It’s alright. I promise. You can talk about it with me if you want. I promise I won’t judge—”

Leopold lunged across the table before Kenny could finish. He threw Kenny from his seat, pinning him to the ground. Kenny’s head spun for a moment after colliding with the wood flooring. Leopold wrapped his hands around Kenny’s neck, whispering to himself.

“I won’t let you leave me. I won’t let you go. I won’t be by myself.” Leopold muttered, squeezing harder and harder until the final breath escaped Kenny’s lips.

Kenny stroked his ghostly chin in thought when he finished replaying the memory. What had Leopold’s mumblings meant? What did they have to do with his parents? What did that all that have to with his necrophilia? 

Something buzzed and Leopold looked up from his thoughts. He turned his head over to the pile of folded clothes. After taking off his gloves, he reached into the pants pocket. Kenny’s cell phone vibrated once more with another incoming message.

Leopold shrugged and stood. Careful of the rivers of blood, he picked up the corpse's hand. After wiping the thumb clean, he pressed it to the screen to unlock the phone.

“What the hell? That’s private!” Kenny growled. He floated over, just behind Leopold’s shoulder.

Leopold opened one of the three messages Kenny had received. Two came in just a few moments ago, and the other a little after the session started.

“Kenny, where are you? Did Stotch’s session run long?” A message from Kyle asked. Wendy sent a similar message.

Leopold pulled off one glove before replying to Kyle’s message, “Sorry, something came up, and I had to leave to deal with it.” He sent a copy and paste reply to Wendy as well.

“I’ll have to make sure Eric gets this. He can use it to pretend your still around for a while,” Leopold told the corpse as he opened the oldest message. 

This one was a picture of Karen holding up two paint swatches to the camera. “Which one for the bathroom? Sky blue or seafoam?” She asked.

Leopold's face twisted in disgust.

“Was that woman in that photograph your girlfriend?” He shut the phone off without responding. “She’s pretty but not as good for you as I could have been. You and I could have a lot more fun together and she and you, I bet.”

“Oh, yes, this whole experience is super fun,” Kenny grumbled, moving aside as Leopold went to leave his phone with his clothing.

“You know, doctor, maybe I’m being unfair to you,” Leopold pulled his gloves back on, “after all, you never did get to hear the end of my story, did you? It’s the least I can do since Eric is going to make you disappear.”

Kenny perked up at this. 

Leopold began to pull on a hangnail absentmindedly. “Ok, so, where was I? After we got in trouble for peeping, wasn’t it?” He raised his finger to his mouth to chew on his hangnail. His face contorted into a grimace. “Maybe, I don’t want to tell you after all. I hate thinking about it, but...” 

Leopold stood up. His shoes splashed in the rivers of blood as he went over to the corpse. Crouching down, he brushed the sticky bangs from the forehead. He hummed, stroking the bloody cheek with his thumb.

“You deserve it, though.” He tapped his chin, leaving a bloody fingerprint under his lip. His eyes lit up. “Oh, I know, I’ll talk to you about it over dinner.” He grinned, showing all his front teeth. “It’ll be like a date.”

* * *

Kenny wished his ghostly form had access to the _Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders._ Thumbing through the DSM would be something to do at least while he waited for Leopold to come back to the dining room.

He leaned back on his hands and let his head fall back so his gaze fell straight on the severed head sitting on a towel in the middle of the table right next to his discarded notepad -- _his_ severed head.

The jaw hung slack and his eyelids shut. There was nothing soft behind either of them anymore. His eyeballs were gone as was his tongue. Flakes of dried blood crusted under his chin and near his ears. His gold blond hair stained strawberry with blood, no matter how hard Leopold tried to wash it out.

At least now when Wendy asked if he was trying tea tree oil on his scalp, he wouldn’t have to lie about it.

Leopold had wandered back down to his basement after carefully setting the head down. He claimed he had something to do to the body first, now that he took the most important part away. 

Kenny couldn’t force himself to stay down and watch. From the basement, he heard the sound of the occasional moan and the whirling of a power tool. That alone was enough to run his imagine wild with grotesque imagery of what debaucherous acts were being done to his corpse.

He flopped back with a groan.

Footsteps echoed down the hall. Leopold walked past the entryway, shallow basin in his hands and his body covered in blood. He paused a moment, then poked his head inside. 

“It’ll be another hour or so. I have to start dinner first, but don’t worry,” he beamed as he spoke, “you won’t need to stay there alone for much longer, promise.”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Alright, might as well work while I’m waiting.” To the head, he started, “PTSD, for sure. His trauma as a child left a nasty scar on him. A mood disorder perhaps, or maybe a personality disorder...”

Kenny kept shooting ideas off the unresponsive head until Leopold walked through the dining room. This time he was clean and in a tank top that hugged his torso. Kenny’s eyebrows raised, impressed by the sinew and muscle it showed off. In public, Leopold kept his outfits casual, but presentable. Was that a persona he kept up, too keep people from guessing what he really was under the button-ups and slacks?

Leopold shook the water from his hair. “It should be done in another few moments, doctor. Once the stew finishes, we will have our little date.” He winked before heading towards the kitchen.

“You know, if he had asked out me before all this, I think I might have handed his case over to Kyle or Wendy. We could have had that Hallmark movie story after all,” Kenny mused to his head. “Until I found out he was fucking bodies, then we’d be a horror movie.”

He rolled to a sitting position. “But then Kyle or Wendy would have been killed instead of me. They don’t come back like I will. What would I have done, if I knew, I wonder. Getta good fuck from my celebrity crush or lose a coworker, hmmm...” Shaking his head with a laugh, he started to say ‘just kidding’ when Leopold returned with a tray in hand.

A bowl of hot, vegetable-filled stew, a glass of milk, warm buttery rolls and a cup of chocolate mousse sat on the tray. Leopold mentioned one of his hobbies was cooking and had offered to make Kenny a meal during their first session, which he declined. Now he started to wish he hadn’t. The food looked amazing. Were the rolls homemade? They had to be. He almost couldn’t count the number of brightly colored vegetables and chunks of meat in the stew, either. He leaned closer, narrowing his eyes. There was something white and round in the stew as well. A ball of mozzarella cheese, perhaps? Or a carved root vegetable?

Leopold set the tray down before slipping into his seat. He took the cloth napkin also on the tray and unrolled the silverware from it. He smoothed the napkin out on his lap. He clasped his hands and muttered a short prayer before turning his gaze straight through Kenny towards the head.

“A lovely evening, isn’t it? I apologize for the wait, and for only preparing enough for me,” he raised the milk in apology, “but I didn’t think you’d have the stomach for it right now.”

A pause, then he took a drink. Smacking his lips, Leopold looked away. His expression reminded Kenny of a schoolboy about to admit his crush on the playground. 

“I’m sorry for the terrible joke. I’m real nervous, you know.” Leopold stirred his stew. “This story ain’t fun for me to think about.”

“I’ll take a hundred bad puns and jokes if you just get on with it,” Kenny muttered. His voice came out in the same, irritable tone he used to interrupt Kyle’s long-winded speeches.

Leopold stuck the spoon in his mouth, hummed, then seemed to steel himself with a shake and a breath through his nose. He set the spoon back into the bowl and swallowed.

“Alright, so what happened after we boys got caught peeping. Well, when Dad picked me up, he sure wasn’t happy, no sir. In fact, his face was red as a beet, and I thought he’d yell at me right there in the front lawn, but he didn’t. He told me to get into the car, which was actually a lot scarier.” Leopold shuddered. “He didn’t talk the whole way home.”

Tearing the roll in half, Leopold dunked it into the broth. “When he got home, oh, boy, did he let me have it. I got yelled at for nearly half an hour for what I did, then he decided my punishment.” He chewed the roll thoroughly in an attempt to buy time. 

When he spoke again, he pitched his voice down a bit. “‘Now you listen here, young man, your mother and I discussed it, and clearly grounding you to your room does no good!’ he yelled at me ‘so you’re grounded in the basement! You’re grounded from sunlight, mister!’”

His hand shook as he took up the spoon again. “So he locked me down there, all by myself. It was...so dark down there. Dark and dusty and boring and— and— and— He did it again and again, every time I messed up. He’d leave me down there until I ‘learned my lesson’.”

Leopold’s eyes became unfocused, just like before. His body went rigid and his breathing shallow and shaky. 

“You kn-know, for all Dad did, I actually think I hate Mom more than him. She could have said I didn’t deserve it. She could have taken me away, but she never did. She just encouraged him. She tried to—ARGH!”

The spoon fell into the stew with a splash while he buried his face in his hands. He breathed out a hissing breath as he gripped his hair. He muttered incoherently under his breath. The only word Kenny could catch was 'bitch' said a few times.

Kenny frowned to himself. During their sessions, Leopold held both his parents in high regard, no matter what they did to him. 

He had claimed, _”That’s just how they were raised. My grandma is a hundred times worse than Dad could ever be.”_ as an excuse for their abuse. The words he said now, these were his true feelings. The ones he didn’t keep up for appearances. He was angry. He was upset. 

After a few tense moments, Leopold looked back up. His anger had waned a little but was still visible on his face. 

“You know, Mom tried to kill me once when I was eight. She found out Dad was cheating on her, and she thought she had to ‘clean’ the family. She put me in the car and drove to the pier, then let the car roll right on in. Kill the son, kill the father, kill the wife, and our family would be clean, all clean. ” He chuckled, but it was forced. “I escaped in the end but, well, she’s the one who needed therapy, more than I do. Let's just say that.”

Kenny nearly threw his hands up. “Your mother had episodes of psychosis, and you didn’t mention that to me? Leopold, those are important factors in your treatment! Fucking hell!” Kenny pinched the bridge of his nose with a noisy sigh. He was suddenly thankful for his current ghostly nature. An outburst like that in an actual session would have been unprofessional.

Leopold took a deep breath, held it, and let it out, all the while tapping his fingers in a count with the passing seconds. Kenny recognized it as one of the breathing techniques that he taught Leopold to calm himself.

“Sorry about that, Dr. McCormick. I know you told me not to talk like that about who does and doesn’t need therapy, but I guess I just hold a grudge against her. It was her idea to lock me in the basement the first time. It was her idea to leave me there. It was _her idea_. Everything that happened is _her fault._ ” 

The rage boiled up again, reddening his face. With a ferocity Kenny didn’t expect, Leopold raised the bowl up to shovel the stew into his mouth. He chewed on the meat far longer than he needed to. Eventually, he coughed and had to reach for the milk. He downed half the glass in one go. 

Panting, Leopold whispered, “It was her idea to push Dad down the stairs when he went to let me out after they had a fight. It was her idea to kill him.”

Kenny froze. He fixed Leopold with a wide-eyed expression. 

Leopold claimed his father passed from an accident when he was in high school, but never said more than that. Kenny assumed it was a workplace-related, as he mentioned his father working at a shipping factory. Clearly, he had been wrong.

“‘You can both stay down there and think about what you’ve done, you dirty perverts!’” Leopold mockingly pitched up his voice. “‘I’ll let you out when you’ve learned better.’”

Leopold glared into his stew, tilting the bowl towards him, but not lifting it up again. “Bitch left us. She fucking up and left us. Rode away to visit her sister for two weeks before deciding to come back for us — for me. Dad was gone, and I was alone, doctor. I was left alone in the dark. The only light came this flickering bulb, and I kept it off most of the time so I didn’t have to look at Dad. He was so twisted and broken — and gone.”

His lips quivered. “I just wanted him to wake up, to talk to me. I wanted to hear another person’s voice, even if it was yelling at me that I was a mistake or shouldn’t have been born.” His Adam's apple bobbed with a hard swallow. “I don’t like to be alone, doctor. Can anyone blame me for that?” 

Kenny had a pang of pity hit his chest. He understood that feeling all too well. 

He grew up the middle child of three, in a house that barely had room for two. All his life, he had someone around. When college rolled around and he had a place mostly to himself, Kenny had a hard time adjusting. He would bring people over for the night, pester his flatmates to stay up late with him, or play podcasts and talk radio just to have another human voice around. 

Leopold ran his hand through his hair with a sigh then smiled softly. “You know, doc, heh, this is making me feel a little better to talk with you about this. I wish I figured this out before. You're a great listener. If you still had lungs, you’d be able to give me some amazing advice right now.”

Kenny crossed his arms, trying to quell the pity raising up in his body. Leopold was a complex man, more complex than Kenny had ever given him credit.

Stirring the stew, Leopold went on, “So, anyway, I waited and waited for Mom to come home. I was scared, lonely, and hungry, but then I figured something out that would make those feelings go away. It was an amazing epiphany I had waiting for the washer to fill with water to drink.”

“I saw this rat run carrying one of its babies, and it reminded me of my hamsters from when I was a kid.” He rested his chin in his hands. “You see, we thought the pet store gave us two boy hamsters, but really they gave us a boy and a girl. They had babies. Just after she gave birth, I had to leave for camp.” He sighed. “When I came back, the momma hamster had died, but I don't know how. Then the daddy hamster had eaten their babies, because, I think, Mom forgot to feed them. They didn’t have any food in their dish and were almost out of water.”

“I didn’t understand at the time how the daddy could do that. They were his babies! Sure, he must have been really sad that their momma wasn’t around, but that’s no excuse. He should have taken care of them!" Leopold shook his head. 

"Sitting down on the washer, hungry and lonely, I suddenly understood why he did it perfectly.” He reached a hand over to the head to cup the cheek. “When something is eaten, it stays with you for a long time, no matter how far away you go from the source, isn’t that right? He ate his babies to keep them from being lonely.”

Kenny flinched back. “Wait, what?”

Another sigh escaped Leopold’s lips. “I was just like the hamsters. There wasn’t any food down there, and the person I loved was dead. Mom hadn’t come back yet, and I was sure I was going to die until I had that thought. Dad probably wouldn’t want me to die, and if I took him as part of me, well,” Leopold chuckled, leaning back, “how alone could I be?”

Kenny’s eyes turned into wide saucers as Leopold scooped up the small, white round object from the stew. It wasn’t a ball of cheese or a vegetable at all. It was an eyeball.

The familiar blue iris stared lifelessly out at Kenny. Leopold raised the spoon to his parted lips.

“Oh, oh my—” Kenny floated away, shaking. “I was wrong. You’re not a necrophiliac. You’re a cannibal.”

Leopold hummed to himself, before placing the eyeball into his mouth. Around it, he told the head, “You see, it’ll be the same with you, too, now. Eric might make you disappear from your work and family, but really, you’ll be right here with me. Your body will be one with mine, and we’ll be together. Neither of us alone!” He swallowed the eye, _Kenny’s eye_ , in one gulp. 

After setting the spoon down, he pushed the tray aside to pull the head to himself. He held it to his chest like a newborn baby, running his fingers through the hair with a loving smile on his face.

“You’re a thousand times better company than those homeless people from the park, and I know you think I’m good company, too.” Leopold tapped the tip of his pointer finger to the head’s nose. “It’s not quite like being lovers, but it’ll do, given the circumstances, don’t you think?”

Kenny did think. 

His spinning head thought a lot of things at that moment. 

He thought about how Wendy and Kyle would handle this information. He thought about how the meat Leopold had been chewing so ferociously was from his body, his flesh, cooked in beef broth with vegetables and how he had been butchered like a pig just downstairs. 

He thought all that and more, but one thought, in particular, pushed its way to the forefront of his mind so loudly that it silenced all the rest. This one, he knew, could be the end of him if he indulged it, but he couldn’t keep it down as it grew and grew into an all-consuming idea.

Leopold Stotch was the most interesting case Kenny had ever come across — and he was going to help him or die trying.

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Did...did I write something serious? Without making a bad joke out of it? Mark the calendars!
> 
>  
> 
> [My writing Tumblr.](https://uas-fics.tumblr.com)


End file.
